What Was He Thinking?

Here's the situation. You're on trial. You're facing 15 criminal counts. You could be locked up for 10 years or more if found guilty. It's the last time you're going to see the jury before they decide your fate. The judge is giving out his final instructions to them before they head to the jury room and you're....struggling to stay awake? This was defendant Dharun Ravi as the jury was getting instructions in the Rutgers webcam spying case. He's accused of using a webcam to spy on his roommate having sex with another man. Roommate Tyler Clementi commited suicide just days later.

It didn't take long until the struggle was over and it seemed the sleep won.

Yes, there was even a head bob this time. You know, the head bob you get when you start to fall asleep sitting up, your head starts to fall, and your jerk awake. So, what do you do then?...

Use your hand as a prop...

Now, to keep this in context, he didn't nod off for long periods of time. They were little short moments. There was no snoring. But if it were me, and there was a group of people across the room looking at me and the judge, about to decide my fate. I would sure as heck be awake and acting like I cared what was going on.

I found myself thinking 'C'mon man! Pretend you care! Even if you're faking it, you should at least pretend you care!"

I did talk to one attorney who thinks the jury will be understanding that Ravi has been through a lot in the past few weeks and is likely stressed and tired, but if I was on the jury and asked to pay close attention to everything as I decide the case and see he doesn't seem to care about what's going on, I have to wonder if that wouldn't somewhat impact my image of him and possibly influence my decisions.

You're stressed? You should be? You're not sleeping well? I'm not surprised. But hit a Starbucks. Get a triple shot. Get a 5 Hour Energy drink. Just stay awake until the jury leaves to deliberate!!!

The Impact of Words and Actions

Covering the Dharun Ravi trial, the guy who set up the webcam in his dorm room to watch (and share) a feed of his roommate, Tyler Clementi, having sex with a man, I doubt he expected the outcome of his actions.

As the trial wraps up, there are a lot of things to think about here.

First, my view of the facts. I think Ravi probably was uncomfortable with having Tyler as a roommate. I think he didn't like having a gay roommate. Lots of people are uncomfortable with lots of things. Such is life. I do not think that is a crime.

I do think he set up a spy cam as his way to watch Tyler and possibly pick on Tyler for having sex with a man in their dorm room. I think he thought catching Tyler and his male friend having sex in their dorm room, and telling others how they could watch it, was something he thought would be funny. Perhaps a way to make fun of Tyler, probably with no intention of Tyler ever finding out.

Now, was it specifically because Tyler was gay? Maybe. Or maybe that the two just didn't get along, or one of many other reasons. Or maybe Ravi just likes to pick on people and Tyler became a victim because he was in the dorm room with him. Probably, we'll never know. But what we do know is what the outcome was.

A few days after Tyler found out that people were being told they could watch a video of him and his sexual partner, he killed himself. I am NOT saying the web cam incident caused him to kill himself. I am sure this was just one piece of a number of other issues he was already dealing with, and an emotional instability he'd probably been suffering with for years that culminated in his deciding to take his own life.

What do I think should happen in the case? My opinion really doesn't matter. After all, I'm not the jury. That's for them to figure out. But here's what it made me think about... unintended consequences.

I don't think Dharun had any intention of Tyler killing himself and having any part of that possibly attached to the webcam he set up. I have a feeling, even if he doesn't show a lot of emotion in the courtroom, the realization that his prank may have had something to do with Tyler killing himself had to punch him in the gut at some point. So, it makes me wonder about the unintended consequences of things I do.

We all pick on people. For some reason, we seem to generally put people down and pick on people as a society. It's a game. We always one up one another. But, what if? What if that person who may have even laughed when you picked on them, really is getting cut, even if slightly, by your words? One tiny scar might not be a lot, but if there are lots and lots and lots of tiny scars adding up, what kind of long-term damage is being done? I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a part of that.

I know I've made more than my fair share of putdowns. Not saying I would do something like Ravi did. I am not going to attack someone for their race, gender, sexual orientation, physical or mental limitations, etc. I actually tend to be the one who will stand up for the underdog and stop others from beating them down. But I still have picked on plenty of people in my day. And I know now there're things that I've sometimes said or done that it hurt people far more than I intended. Thankfully none of mine had extreme endings to their stories like this case.

I started making that realization a few months back, but this case made me revisit it. I've put a lot more time and effort into complimenting people more and picking on them less. And while I know I will not always be a perfectly kind and gentle person, and yes, I will most likely still do my fair share of picking from time to time, I do notice the same victorious feeling you can get from being able to one-up someone in a 'pick on' game can be felt when you lift someone up and see them react to your positive words. The only difference... with the positive words, you don't have to worry if you stepped over the line.

The Detail is in the Doughnuts

It's funny the things that sometimes get my attention while covering a story. Sometimes they have nothing to do with the story itself. Take the ribbon cutting ceremony for The OUT NYC for example. Of all the things I talked about in the newsroom relating to this story, the thing they and I were most interested in was the doughnuts.

First, a little background. The OUT NYC on 42nd Street is the first straight-friendly hotel in New York City. What does that mean?

"It was built for people who are gay,to be comfortable than they often are in other hotels but straights are welcome too," Hotel President Ian Reisner told me, "I hear from friends all the time they often check into a hotel and they want a king-sized room and it's two men or two women and they very often get a weird stare. The idea of a gay couple kissing or holding hands in the lobby of a hotel very often makes them uncomfortable."

Ok, back to the Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.

Once they cut the rainbow-striped ribbon, everyone was let in to look around.

I took a look at the things you would usually look at on this kind of story - one of the rooms:

There are also three outdoor courtyard areas. This one is kind of a picnic spot:

There were two others that were not 100% finished, but one has waterfalls and they look like they're going to be pretty nice. You can see more of the concept images on the website TheOutNYC.com

And finally there was a reception area where we could do interviews. They were serving up cappuccinos and things like these doughnuts:

You can see they're colorful in this picture, but try the close up:

Yes, that's glitter. The doughnuts glittered! I don't think this picture really does them justice. I needed better lighting. But lighting or not, when I have shown people the pictures I took at the hotel, this is the one they are most interested in, the cute doughnuts.

By the way, when mentioned how cute they were to the Food & Beverages Manager he told me they wanted to have "gay doughnuts for the opening of a gay hotel." You can tell me if he hit the mark on looks, but I can tell you, they were tasty, with a hint of lemon.

Reporting - Behind the Scenes

Today's blog, a quick look at a couple moments behind the scenes of a story.

As I was covering the South Plainfield, NJ fire, I took a couple behind the scenes pictures to share.

The first I title 'How many reporters can you fit in a den?'



While covering the South Plainfield, NJ fire, there was only one person with video of the 3am fire. His name was Ivan, and Ivan lived right across the street from the home. Well, of course, all the media wanted to see the video so Ivan was kind enough to invite us into his home to watch it on his television.... all 20 of us. It was a stream of cameras, tripods and equipment bags pouring into his den, packed in pretty tight for the viewing of the video. It was very kind of him to allow this, and he looked a little overwhelmed at the time, watching the line of reporters seem to get longer and longer coming into his home, but I think he really helped us better our stories by allowing us to see what happened from his viewpoint.

The other picture I have for you today I call "Microphone Jenga".



When there's a press conference with a podium, there are plenty of places to clip on microphones or put up a stand, but that is not the case when the press conference in the middle of the street. This is what happens. You only see a part of the pile here... In all there were probably 20 microphones and recording devices piled in this stack. Only about half of of the microphones you see here are actually cliped in or attached to a stand, the others are balanced. And when it comes time to add a new microphone in, you have to balance very carefully because it doesn't take much for the pile to get top-heavy and tip. Usually one of us would hold the pile as a new mic was added to make sure the whole thing didn't tumble over. But even we are not perfect at Jenga. There were a couple times the pile started to go over and we had to reset the mics.

Why I Spent my Birthday Crying

Monday was my birthday... Monday was also the funeral of Lance Corporal Osbrany Montes De Oca in North Arlington, NJ.

That was the story I was assigned on Sunday afternoon. I'll be honest, I whined to my assignment manager when he first was going to send me. I know I cry at Taps... He was going to make me cry on my birthday. I was told I could just not work on my birthday like most people, but that didn't seem an option for me, so I took on the story.

A little history on the Lance Corporal. He was 20-years-old. He also has a twin brother named Osmany, also a Marine, and a 22-year-old brother who is also in the Corps. He and his twin joined first. They wanted to protect their country, cut and dry. He was infantry and sent to Afghanistan and just got his promotion to Lance Corporal a few weeks ago.

My first stop in North Arlington was the funeral home and church, which happened to be across the street from each other.

There were a number of police officers and firefighters out there, wanting to pay their respects and also a lot of people from town.



In this picture you see the line of police officers... but those folks on the curb across the street, most of them are people from town. There was also a crowd of them behind me. It was heartening to see. That said, one woman I talked to was angry there were not more people out. It was a holiday. She said she had hoped to see the entire town show up to pay their respects.

My first tears fell when the coffin was carried from the funeral home to the hearse... The finality that coffin signifies....





I think this is a time to mention a little about me. I don't think I am a typical reporter. Some of the other reporters and camera crews were off to the side, chatting about sports and the like 'between shots'. I can do that on some stories, like when we're waiting for the Governor to speak or something else mundane. But this was about the Lance Corporal and I almost kicked a trio of media folk for rudely chatting about sports while the rest of the street was silent just a few moments before the procession began. I feel stories... and I hope, in some respects, that makes me better at my job. You can let me know when you hear the stories later....

The service in the church was a private event, so I repositioned myself down the road, near the entrance of the cemetery. More and more people from town were coming out to line up along the road. By the time the hour-long service was over, there was nearly a half mile line of people from the church to the cemetery entrance, who wanted to send-off their fallen hero. The fire trucks worked to hoist a massive American flag and we all stood, quietly and waited for the procession to arrive. Seriously, hundreds of people lined the streets near me, but they didn't do much more than whisper. You could hear the flapping of the flags in the wind, the police radios, sniffling, but not much else....



The funeral procession made it's way into the cemetery. I followed, but at a distance. I stood off to the side with the police officers who were keeping watch.

It was a very traditional service, ending with the 21-gun salute and the playing of Taps. Then the flag presented to his mother. I had not heard a lot of crying (audibly at least) until this point... but that flag being handed over, that was the breaking point.

I truly think my heart was put in a vice when I heard the wails come from the family as the flag was handed over. Pain. A heart being ripped out and shattered pain was what I heard. I started crying again. Heck, I am tearing up right now typing about it, because that sound doesn't leave one's ears easily.

And then I thought, that Marine, the one who is tasked with giving the flag to the family, how the hell does he do his job? Does that man have to go home at the end of the day and drown himself in drink to try and erase the face of that mother? Do the mournful cries she let out ever leave his ears?

As I left the cemetery I saw more of the Marine detail. I wanted to run up and hug them. Many of them were close in age to the 20-year-old I just saw buried. I resisted the urge to hug them all and instead thanked them for their service.

So now I had to go to work... I had to do stories about the funeral... and, well, I tried to do his memory justice. I was told the first version was not just sad, but very sad. I will also admit, it took me three times to record the last half of it without my voice completely cracking and breaking.






So, I'm going to wrap this up now, with this - Yes it was a depressing way to spend a birthday, but also a hell of a reminder to love and appreciate all the things I have, the opportunities I have been given, and to not let any of them pass me by. Someone may well have died for them.

To all my friends in the service present and past, I desperately want to hug you all right now! But I will suffice for the moment saying thank you for your service!

Baby it's cold outside!

Well it's cold, but not that cold.... there was a little snow this morning... and here was the view from my bedroom window...




and it looks like a bird was making it's way across the deck...a snowbird perhaps? :)


Just a dusting of snow on the car...



But within a couple hours it had melted off...

Which has me thinking... if it's gonna snow... give me enough snow to play in! So, since I was too busy to post these before, here are some of the January Snow Day pics I took at the park down the road...

Well first, the view from inside the car before I pulled out the scraper....



Now the park down the road.....








Yes, if its going to snow it should be enough to make things look like a winter wonderland and allow the construction of snow art... if not... it's just a wet sloshy mess that is annoying... that is all :)

Super Bowl Wrap Up

My past week has been spent on Superbowl coverage... or at least a lot of it... and this is the first break I am getting...

So, here's my recap.

First, props to Amelia for picking the winning team.. we did a prediction with seeds....







Yep, she chose the Giants seed, left the Pats behind.. she's 1 for 1!




Then I went to Foley's bar in Downtown NYC to watch. The bar was all Giants... they even pulled Sam Adams off the tap.. you know.. it's from Boston....



The crowd was fantastic. And this is where Mike and I started our bar rivalry. He was at a Patriots bar across town.

Here's the audio:





They were major fans and they were on their feet (and later on tables) as the final moments on the clock ticked down. Then we of course snapped a shot...



Tuesday it was off to the parade.... I don't have pics of Eli and the trophy coming by because I was on the air at the time... but here's what I do have. HOURS before the parade started... the crowds were already huge!


ticker tape was falling early and rolls of toilet paper as well as footballs and beach balls were bring thrown back and forth across the road...



I ended up taking up a post in the McDonalds at Broadway and Maiden. They had a great view


and they were a sponsor anyways, so it was a win win. It even ended up being more of a win win when there was no cell service and they let me use their cordless phone so I could do reports from the crowd just outside their door!

Here's one of my post parade reports





and a couple more reports on things I learned.... 1 on what not to wear..



and one on the bathroom situation



Enjoy!